Blake Lively + Lorraine Schwartz = BFF?

Okay, so lately I have noticed Blake wearing a lot of jewelry, and I mean a lot. Even lil' Jon and rappers everywhere with their heaps of bling are like "damn gurl! wassup!?" that is if they could pronounce vowels.  Anyways, Blake. Bling. What be happenin'? Well it turns out the majority of the jewelery that has been lent out to Blake has come from CDFA member/designer Lorraine Schwartz.

Late last year Blake attended the designer's launch party for her 2BHAPPY collection, not to be outshone of course by her Diamond Monkey collection, and I suppose a mutually beneficial relationship was forged. No, Lorraine is not Blake's Sugar Mama, she just gives her sparkly stuff when she struts red, fuzzy ground.

I know what you're wondering. How much is one of those bracelets worth? Let me tell you:

More. Than. Your. Life. 

Okay, maybe your life is worth more than one of them, but NOT the entire arm party. No way man. Typically when jewelry designers loan out their goods it's only for 24 hours and a security officer is assigned to stalk them their entire evening accompany them to their event and after parties, after which they are collected the very same night. On occasion they are gifted to the celebrity if the jewelry designer is a generous type. I agree with this practice as it prevents people like Lindsay Lohan from committing felony grand theft. I mean, can you blame the girl? Everyone knows you don't inject yourself with heroin in front of a junkie. Why would you give a girl diamonds and then take them away? EVIL.

photo credit: TFS

Awesome Things I Can't Afford Saturdays

As someone who was laid off a few months ago and has been frittering away her savings since, I am not in the position to be buying ridiculously expensive things. I have never actually been in such a position, but I like to pretend when I am employed full time and have my Visa handy (I always have my Visa handy). I might as well be Jennifer Lopez because I pretty much buy whatever I damn well want. Why pay off student loans when you can have yet another leather purse or those drop earrings you've been visiting for a week? You can't think of a good reason can you? Me neither. My car is a piece, I can't afford Starbucks, my cell phone is rather embarrassing, but I have an amazing wardrobe. I really, really do.

So I am here to present to you a new weekly posting to indulge my impractical sensibilities: Shit I can't afford Saturdays. I know shit is sort of a vulgar and crass word, but I find cuss words really add a dramatic flair that other words simply can't. Plus they're fun. And my blog is fun. So "shit" is here to stay.



Anyways, without further ado I present to you Cornelia Webb's $220 finger ring. It's like a thumb thimble, but way cooler and not nearly as useful. Not only does it lack utility, it probably interferes with things like unbuttoning your jeans, typing, getting dust out of your eyes, and petty theft. And yet here I am hopelessly enamored and fabulously broke.



Webb's Facebook Fan Page tells us that she started creating jewelery in her spare time as a medical student. Perhaps she got the finger mold from her quality lab time at the hospital morgue? And just when you thought things couldn't get any cooler Webb employs prison inmates "to assemble her designs, as both a step in motivating people through creating beautiful things with their hands and as a way to keep production close and limited."

Genius.

Who doesn't want a ring that reeks of misdemeanor crime and rigor mortis? And who would have thought a science nerd could have such wicked business sense? I not only want this finger ring, I respect its humble prison roots. It's just so bad ass (I will be using that word too).

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