Saturday, August 28, 2010

Awesome Things I Can't Afford Saturdays

Another Saturday, another self depreciating post about my penniless existence. Oh joy.

An old friend of mine just launched an escort service in Vancouver that pretends to be a matchmaking service called Sugar City. It's got very interesting wording like "mutually beneficial relationship" and "Sugar babies" and my favorite "weekly allowance". Anyways I've been following their blog and I find myself becoming more and more accepting of the whole concept when shopping online for these posts. I think to myself "gee golly gosh, if I had a Sugar Daddy paying my rent and depositing me a monthly 4 digit allowance I could totally thug out my knuckles for reals yo." But alas, I will not succumb to a Sugar City kind of existence.

All I could ever think in our time together is how unfortunate it is that someone must take part in such a calculating business transaction to fill their needs. If you're in that sort of arrangement all you should really be thinking about is when the sucker will finish buying you the entire Louis Vuitton luggage collection and why the hell is your champagne taking so god damn long to arrive at your lavished hotel suite at the Hilton DAMMIT!?!

But I digress...

Why hello there metal spikes woven tightly with copper wire. How are your fabulous selves today? Oh, dangerous? Yeah, I noticed you were all hardcore like that hanging out on what is probably a deadly cliff on fingers with chipped nail polished (perfectly polished nails are for the MEEK). How am I? Oh you know....broke and totally can't afford you what-so-ever. I'm selling my shoes to fly out to my friend's wedding next month, but you goes. Thanks, for asking.

You can buy the Spike KnuckleBuster at Luv Aj for $158 USD. Not as cheap as pepper spray, but way way cooler. Also, a note for my fellow poor romantic idealists <3

(photos credited to Luv Aj and A Beautiful Revolution)

1 comment :

Niki said...

the knuckle duster - so rad. and oh my god, sugar city? wtffffff.
i always talk big about how i need a sugar daddy, but in reality i'm the same way... i'd rather live in a cardboard box than do and old dude.

xx Niki
A Haute Mess